Turtle Bark- Christmaspalooza

Hi folks. I am back with some bark for you guys. You know me and bark. If there's a way to play around with it I am all in. Love the stuff to bits. It's just so good. The variations are endless, the possibilities endless. You can get all kinds of creative with it. It also makes nice gifts for people. Which is why I made 4 different kinds the other day. No, I don't have any self control problems. Not at all. Not me.

So I was thinking to myself "self, what kind of bark could we make that no one else has made?" And my mind immediately jumped to turtles candy. I had just picked some up at the store to give away as gifts eat it all myself, so it was on my mind. Then I thought I was a genius, I mean this was a million dollar idea. Look out world, here I come. Yah, not so much. Apparently a gazillion other people have already thought of it. I found a recipe on epicurious, Baker's Royale, Etsy, there's quite alot of turtle bark out there. So I did what I always do when I find out I did not discover something. I make it any way. I now had the craving and knew I was going to tackle it no matter what. The upside to doing a search was finding another cool bark recipe on Baker's Royale that I also made and will share another day. That girl can rock the bark. I love anyone who likes bark as much as I do.

I have to share a little story about Turtles with you before we get to the recipe. What? You did NOT just roll your eyes at me did you? I mean that's just rude. You should know by now all recipes come with stories. Unless your new. Okay if you're new here's some tips about your Lunatic:

1- I like lists, such as this one!
2- I make alot of goodies!
3- If you want those goodies you get some talkie talk talk with them!
4- If you don't want the talkie talk talk, well, scroll or hit up "givemetherecipenowwithoutthelip.com"!
5- I like to make up words. And fake websites and emails!
6- I could go on like this all day!
7- It doesn't even bother me!
8- I mean I don't sleep so this could on for hours!
9- I bet you'll get tired of this before I will!
10- Are you asleep on your keyboard? Now that's just rude.

Okay now that the new ones are up to speed, let me continue with the talkie talk talk. So last year we all opened up our lovely gifts. We got so much fun stuff. My sis had sent goodies for me and Kiana. My brother and his girlfriend sent goodies for Bray and hubs. So as the night wore on I got to wondering how the guys scored Turtles and we didn't. Our goodies didn't seem as "special" as Turtles. I mean I love me some Turtles. So now I'm thinking wow, why didn't I get any. By days end I was really rather bothered by the whole thing and it virtually ruined my Christmas (not really but it adds so much to dramatic effect right).   So my Christmas was spoiled completely by this lack of Turtles. What's a girl to do? Well this girl got a little crazy. The next day hubs and Bray were off somewhere, so me and mini-me were watching a movie. She wanted a snack and we scrounged around but were sick of all the goodies in the house. So I started to eye the guy's Turtles. I thought oh what the heck we'll just steal a couple out of the box and they'll never know right. Well, the horror of it, they hadn't even opened that precious box of Turtles. Who in their right mind would not open them immediately? Not anyone who deserves Turtles let me tell you that. I was so outraged I decided right then and there I was going to open them and have one and to heckaroo with the boys and their anti-Turtle ways. (more dramatic effect, I just REALLY wanted a turtle) So I mischievously opened the plastic and heard the angels sing as I opened the box. I swore just one for me and one for mini-me. Yah, not so much. We each had two. I slipped the box back under the tree and waited for the guys to notice. Next day rolls around and no mention of the Turtles having been ambushed. So that night the guys were watching hockey or some other lame sport downstairs, so me and mini-me got the munchies as we usually do while watching tv. I jokingly said Turtles would be nice and mini-me got all excited. So what's a mom to do right? I mean I had to. It's my duty as a mom. So I swore one only. Yah

I swear hubs is going to start using Ricky Ricardo's line soon. "Lunie, you got some splainin to do"!

Alrighty roo, on to the bark. I used my usual recipe then just tossed stuff on top. It ain't rocket science folks. Just bark. Easy peasy. Feeling your pants get squeezy! When that happens lay off the bark a bit. Or get bigger pants.

Bigger Pants Turtle Bark:

Inspired by Epicurious, Baker's Royale, Goodies by Anna and KerryCan on Etsy

Ingredients:

12 ounces semi sweet chocolate (good quality)
3/4 cup pecans, broken into tiny pieces (I did not toast mine, not sure why not)
3/4 cup Skor toffee bits (you can buy them in bags by the chocolate chips)
1/4 to 1/2 cup caramel sauce (I did not measure properly, got carried away pouring, my best guess is I used 1/2 cup which is alot)

Directions:

Melt your chocolate in a double boiler. All you do is bring water in a pot to a boil then turn it down to simmer, or slightly above simmer. Then place your other pot on top and pop the chocolate in that. Now I do not have a double boiler so I place a heat proof glass bowl on top of the pot. Works beautifully.

Now let it melt. Stir it here and there.

Once it's melted pour it into a parchment lined pan (8 x 8 is best, I did it on a cookie sheet which made it too thin)

Now toss the pecans over top.

Now toss the skor bits over top.

Now pop this in the fridge to set while you make your caramel. (recipe to follow)

Once your caramel is cooled (if it's not it's melt your chocolate, this is super important), you pour it over your bark.

Pop it back in the fridge for a bit to set up.

Remove and break apart or cut. I like mine roughly chopped or broken. Not a big fan of clean edges on bark.

Recipe for Caramel Sauce:

Adapted from Fine Cooking

Ingredients:


1/4 cup water
2 tablespoon unsalted butter, more softened for the pan
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Generous pinch of salt, I used vanilla salt


Directions:


Place a medium saucepan over medium-high heat, combining sugar and 1/4 cup warm water. Stir until the sugar dissolves. Takes 2 to 3 minutes.

Bring the syrup to a boil and do not stir, let it start to caramelize. You can gently swirl the pan to help it start to brown.

You watch, not stirring until it turns an amber colour.

Now remove from the heat, add cold butter.

Now stir in the heavy cream. You may return the pan to low heat if the mixture is not smoothing out right away.

Now add the vanilla and the salt. Stir this until it's smooth.

Let the caramel cool for about 15 minutes.

Yup, this is let your pants out, hide every one's share kind of stuff. This is so good I can barely stand it. Now that I can make my own Turtles I shall never need to steal it from hubs and son again. I may still steal it just for fun but I won't "need" to. Yup, that's how we roll up here in the Bee household. 


My other Christmas baking posts for your viewing pleasure:


Chocolate and Peanut Butter M&M Cookies

Checkerboard Cookies

Kim's Nutella Cookies

Pretty Pepperminty Ice Cream

Black Forest Bark

This post is part of Christmaspalooza 2011!

Toodles and smoochies.xx